Salamander & Dragons' Grim Poketales
by pinkdragonflame
Summary: Oh no!! Not the Pikachu!! Anything but the Pikachu!!!!! Ahhh!!!


Disclaimer: Don't own it…I don't…she don't…he don't…it don't…need I go on??

Pinky(me): WAHAHAHAHA!! This a ficcy created by salamander3, with the sole purpose of taking over the World Fudge Organization. I am merely the mindless drone who types in the stuff, adding weird comments and exclamation marks along the way!!!! 

(One happy sunny day in Vermillion city…)

Surge: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!! *runs around frantically* My Raichu!!! Where's my cute ickle babykins RAAAIIICHUUUU???!! *slams into gym wall* Oww…

(The telephone rings) 

Telephone: Bzzack bzzack! Bzzack bzzack! (well, now we know how 'into' electricity the guy is)

Surge: *picks up* I don't know anything about Koga's missing tutu, I honestly don't!!

**scene switches to Surge's not-so-clean closet, where is certain sparkly item of clothing is distinctly visible amidst all the um…_stuff_…and-hey! *looks closely* lacey pink dresses!! (Surge: OI!!!) Okay fine…let's not humiliate him _too_ much, shall we )**

Daycare man: Oh hohoho…you must be Lt. Surge from Vermillion City.

Surge: *rolls eyes* Nooo…I'm Erika from Celedon…DUH I'm Surge! The one and only!!! The greatest!!!!!! The amazing!!!!!!! The-

Daycare man: The father-in-law of an army of Pikachu.

Surge: *wheezing sound* WH-AT??!

Daycare man: Would you kindly send us your address? I have about ten trucks waiting to deliver the little bundles of joy.

Surge: Wha-??

Daycare man: Whoops…silly me! You're the Gym Leader, aren't you? I'll just send then to the Gym.

Surge: Hey!! Wait!

Telephone: Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzaaack…(he's hung up^^)

Surge: *stares at phone in hand* This doesn't sound good…

(10 mins later)

Lugia (how could I resist ^^): Open the stupid door.

Surge: *opens door* B-but you don't understand…I don't _want _any Pikachu…

Lugia: Look, I have my instructions. And those instructions say 'teleport 20 trucks full of yellow rats to Vermillion Gym'. If I don't follow the instructions, I don't get paid. If I don't get paid, Lugia's not a very happy sea guardian pokemon. And when Lugia's not a very happy sea guardian pokemon, BAD THINGS HAPPEN, comprende??!!! 

Surge: Eep!! *shrinks to the size of an Igglybuff* Go ahead then ^^.

(Lugia glows purple and huge trucks appear with Pikachu spilling over their sides)

Pikachu: PIKA!!!! *run over to Surge and snuggle him* CHU!!!

Surge: *suffocating under mob of Pikas* H-h-help…

(Two Raichus appear^^)

Raichu: Rai! Rai rai chu!! (Oh no!! Lt. Surge!!) *fishes him out*

salamander3 (Raichu #2): Aw shucks…*_we shouldn't have come so darned early…*_

Surge: @_@ 

salamander3: Ooh…lookie at the cute lil blue facie…awwww…

(Shocks Surge)

salamander3: Ooh…lookie at the cute lil electrocuted facie…awwww…

(Koga appears and infiltrates Surge's top-secret closet)

Koga: I knew it!!!!!! *pulls out tutu* You had it all along you little cheat!!! (eyes glow eerily) You will pay for your ignorance!! Pikachu! Follow me! Together we will rule the world and rob it of muffins!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! 

salamander3: Muffins?? Yeah!! *runs out with Raichu* Wait for us!!!!!!

(Pikachus follow Koga outside and begin terrorizing the townspeople. Well…sorta…)

President of the Poke Fanclub: Aww…Look at them! Aren't they just so a-do-ra-ble!!!

Townsperson#1: I agree!!

Townsperson#2: Lets build a shrine for the Pikachu!!

All: YES!!!

Surge: *staring out of Gym window* I have to stop this! 

Mysterious Person Who Mysteriously Appeared Behind Surge Without Him Knowing: Perhaps I can help…

Surge: Who are YOU??

MPWMABSWHK (it sounds like some sort of detergent or something^^): I am the guy with the magical Poke Flute who has the power to remove all these Pikachu!! But in return, you must grant me a Thunder Badge. Free of charge.

Surge: What??! No way! I _never_ give out Badges FOC!!!

MPWMABSWHK: Okay then…you can just wake up each morning to the sound of people chanting and singing praises to Pikachu…

Townspeople: Oh Pikachu, oh Pikachu…pika, pika, Pikachu…

Surge: *grumble* Fine…get rid of the pests, and I'll award you the Thunder Badge…

MPWMABSWHK: I'm glad you got to see things my way^^.

(Meanwhile, outside the Lavender Muffin Tower)

salamander3: *munching on cookie-flavoured muffin* Ooooh Raichu…this is sooo romantic…*Haunters and Ghastlys fly in background*

Raichu: Rai rai rai chu! Chu rai chu! (I agree! I love blueberry^^)

(Ash appears)

Ash: Oo New pokemon! *holds up pokedex*

Pokedex: Raichu, the evolutionary form of Pikachu. It is said that these creatures enjoy eating sugar-coated biscuits, and zap all trainers by the name of Ash 99.9909% of the time.

salamander3: *sarcastically* Oh really…that's fascinating…*zaps Pokedex*

Pokedex: Nooo-OO-oooo I'mm mmmeellttiinnggg…*falls in a pile of gunk at Ash's feet*

~~Lugia: All in favour?

*Ho-oh, pinkdragonflame, salamander3, Suicune etc raise hands/paws/tentacles/wings*

Lugia: All against?

*crickets chirp in background*

Lugia: Good^^. Just checking.~~

Ash: Why'd you do that??

salamander3: I hate electronics…

(pinkdragonflame appears in a flash of light)

pinkdragonflame: I support that!! *morphs into giant pink dragon and begins jumping up and down on the remains of the Pokedex (and Ash)* DOWN WITH RED POKEDEX'S!! THE DEWGONGS MUST BE LIBERATED!! WAHAHAHAHA!!!

salamander3: Umm…Dragon…I think you sorta squished him…

pinkdragonflame: oO Oopsie…*scrapes Ash off foot* 

salamander3: That's better^^. *powers up* Super Super Thunder Shock!!!

(With a nice **BZZACK** sound, Ash is left sprawled out in the dirt, lying facedown next to his Pokedex)

pinkdragonflame: oO The resemblance is amazing…

salamander3: oO Maybe they were cousins or something…  

pinkdragonflame: oO Maybe…

(Back at Vermillion Gym)

Surge: How much longer are you gonna take?

MPWMABSWHK: Not much longer…*is rigging the entire Gym with Stereos and loudspeakers*

Surge: Good…

MPWMABSWHK: Okay done…*picks up flute* I'd cover my ears, if I were you…

(He blows, and a horrible screechy sound emerges. It sounds like fingernails over blackboards; like Maria Carey gone horribly wrong; like Lugia singing in the shower!!! Well, you get the picture…)

Surge: Oh my good circuit breakers that is AWFUL!!! STOP!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!

(MPWMABSWHK continues playing)

Surge: *cramming two pillows into each ear* STOOOOP!!!!!

(MPWMABSWHK continues playing)

Surge: *dying* STOOOOOP…

(The good news is that all the Pikachus ran off due to the incredibly horrible noise. The bad news is that half the town was deaf for a week after that)

MPWMABSWHK: All right, I got rid of the Pikachu. Now where's my fee?

Surge: Eh?

MPWMABSWHK: My fee!! MY FEE!!!

(Although Surge can't hear, he can still lip-read pretty well, so after about 10 more tries, he eventually manages to get the gist)

Surge: I ain't givin you no badge!! I told you to scare off the Pikachu, not give me a permanent hearing defect…

MPWMABSWHK: WHAT??!! After all that I did for you, THIS is how you repay me??!!!! Argh!! YOU WILL PAY!!!! *blows flute in Surge's face*

(A Snorlax falls from the sky and lands on the Gym. Surge is crushed and spends a week in reconstructive surgery. MPWMABSWHK escapes and forms an orchestra, which soon disbands. The Pikachu run off to Mount Sliver and form a Pika-tribe. salamander3 and pinkdragonflame continue their little game with Ash for a while longer, then salamander3 goes to a Candy Palace with Raichu, leaving pinkdragonflame to continue with her plans of dominating dimension XYZ. Lugia quits the Daycare service and joins a soap opera with Ho-oh. Lance, Koga, Erika and Karen make the mistake of going for the concert, and wind up in intensive care for 3½ days)

~Finito!~

Ideas, comments, suggestions? Juz click the lil blue button below ^-^


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